put a stop to this game

i am sorry that i am too cold sometimes . but you know what , i am only seventeen . and so are you . there are so much more we will experience . you might like me at this point , but you will meet a lot of people . you will find someone else as time develops . it is not that i do not like you . to be honest , i do like you too . but i have to hold my heart tight and keep my aim straight so that i don't easily fall . my heart flutters sometimes when you stared at me and pays attention to me . its just that i cant tell how this is going . and i am scared most of the time because our hearts are easily change . and i am probably the most hurtful and hateful girl you will ever encounter . everytime i see you i just wanted to scream out loud a lot of why's questions . why do you like me ? why dont you tell me straight ? why cant you see the flaws in me ? why do you still want to play with this deadly game ?

and i am afraid that one day , when i develop a feeling of liking and i start to love you a little too much like i always do , your heart change and you found somebody else . i know that hurts the most and i cant deal with heartbreaks . i cant express how i feel and i will decide to live with it , the pain and heartbreak . they slowly kills me . you probably dont understand the way i treat you and i cant explain . i am sorry . i cant guarantee that we will stay together even after school finished . so i just have to keep my heart tight and achieve my goals . and i will pray for your success too . lets be better together . even if we may not be able to end up together in the end , but still .

its funny how i am always so negative about this kind of thing . i always think of the worst and be prepared of it . probably because i have learned it through the hard way . so i beg you , please dont do this anymore . showing love signs , stare at me as if i am your whole universe , pays attention to me , please just dont . i cannot deal with this anymore . it hurts me too knowing you still talk to her . it hurts alot . see ? i told you i am a very hateful girl . i am selfish that i want you all by myself . f you can't do that , then stop from now on .


i love you but lets just put a stop to this .

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