PLAIN JANE

its somehow feels like i'm going in a circle . over and over again . about to love or not to love . about to accept or not to accept . about to stay or just leave . and im sick of it . im sick of trying to sort out all of this shitty confusing feelings . you're not there when i need you the most . and it has always been me who tried hard . each day , im trying harder . but each day , too , another piece of me dies . i'm confused . i am not sure weather to believe it or to just simply ignore it . because i've had enough of this shit . i've had enough of all these lies . and i am tired of giving myself false hopes . and all i ever wanted was to feel sure about all these things . but now , all i want is to just put a stop into this . i want to get away from you . even its hard . even it hurts but i dont care anymore . because i want to be happy again . i'm tired of being heartbroken all the time . and feeling unsure about this . its tiring . i want to walk

So it has been a hectic week for me . Ive got my up1 exams and yes , its killing me . I mean , i was never an ambitious person before . I am more to "ah fuck it " person . I wont be staying up late just to study . I mean , come on ! Sleeping is important too .((but its not neccesary when it was a 8 hours long sleep)) . Lol . But i managed to stay up until 1 am just for the sake of addmaths . Muahahaha impressive huh?  Maybe not . But for me , it was . Im acting all nerdy lately . So far , addmaths and chemistry paper wasnt that bad . But bio was . I just hoped that physics paper tomorow isnt going to be mind blowing . I cant tolerate physics and pqs paper in a same day but yeah , DEAL WITH IT GURL !!