hurt


i cried . i dont know why but this kind of thing-friendship is really a sensitive matter for me . i dont like it when i have a fight with my friends or if my friend is mad at me . i will be super sad and i feel like i wasn't good enough . i mean , why are you even mad at me ? where did i go wrong ? did i hurt you woth my bad words ? did i give you no food ? i didnt . but why are you ignoring me ? why are you doing this to me ? you treat me as if i have no feelings at all . i know i am a bad person ad that you are an angel compared to me but let me remind you that i am still a human afterall . i do have feelings . so what makes you think you have the right to treat me less than a human ? i am sorry if i ever hurt you . why must you talk about me as if i am a devil . yes , i sin a lot . i admit that . but i, myself , do have an intention to be better . and the fact thet everybody backs you up and take on your side , really hurts me alot . i know i am still considered as a newcomer but please , stop treating me unfairly . am i not your friends ? am i the only one who thought you guys as my friends ? am i ? wow , that broke my heart into pieces .

everytime i told someone about this matter , crying and asking for help , they will always ended up telling me to say sorry to you and to forgive and forget what you did . why me ? because you are better than me ? because you are their friends since many years before and i am just a newcomer ? and i am just being too emotional over this small matter . and i just need to be heartless and forget about having feelings . thats not gonna help .

" ramai sayang awak tahu tak "

 you are lying . hell not . you guys will always see me as the bad one and she is the perfect one . i do not need another lie to comfort me . i have seen them all . please stop . i have feelings too and i am not as strong as i appeared on the outside . my heart is fragile too . and you isyraf asri , i know how much you fancy her so you dont tell me to forgive and tahan all of these things . i cant . i am done .

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