1052014

i break down twice today . it was very embarrassing . i just couldn't help myself . i really think i should stay away because I am the problem . maybe if i stay away from people i will hurt them less . i mean , i won't talk to them or do any physical contact . lol . i need to stop being so weak and childish and no to mention , so evil . i can't let my tears come out anymore . i need to be strong . not for the sake of vanity but for my own good . this is about pride . they don't worth my tears . but tell me , how could i stay strong if people always ditch me ? well , maybe all of these bullshits are the kifarah for every single bad things i've done in the past . it may seems like i don't give a damn about people ditching and dismissed me but deep in my heart , i bled . i felt so unwanted to be honest . and sometimes i think i am not really important and they are happier without my presence . i want to deny this fact so bad , but sadly its the truth .

i'm broken and slowly dying .