25042014

man , it has been a very long time since the last entry .

i don't actually know exactly what i'm going to write . but yeah , some things have changed . people around , friends and many more . everything seems so fucked up . eventually , i've been fighting back tears countless time already . now i don't even know who my real friends are . they somehow , just gone . disappear . one of them betrays me right infront of me . i don't know whether she means it or not . and now i'm used to it . i don't really care now . i hope i'm not having depression . because if i do , that's not good . i a pretty sure that mom's gonna hysterical and i don't want that to happen . i love her and i try not to hurt her . i've hurt her so many times already . i need to stop . stop hurting people . my parents especially . i'm done . so fucking done.

to be honest i got my own therapy which is by reading . i swear books literally lead me to another world . i can spend a lot of time on reading without getting bored . i don't mind spending extra money on books . they are worth it . right now , i'm pouring over Divergent . OH MY GOD . the book is darn good . it's incredible . yeah , that's the right word . and i'm thinking of getting Insurgent which is the second one . and i bring books with me during travel because i've been traveling a lot this month which i love . i don't mind spending a whole day in the car because i love listening to music , reading while watching the scenery goes by . that's my thing .

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