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i have loads of friends . i mean , load .
at school i would say most of the time i would be surrounded by my friends and i would be laughing my ass off over their stupid jokes . but sometimes i would really like to walk alone , sit at the canteen alone . i just want to feel it . to be alone . because i found out that when i was alone i got to think about lots of mistakes i have done on that day and regretting it . being alone makes me feels the real me . i found who i really was through the loneliness . it's quite thrilling indeed .

like today , i was walking alone from the canteen and i have been thinking about what i really want in my life .

little did i know , i was never exactly know what i want . i don't know whether i want to move to Yaman or stay here , in Malaysia . i don't know if i am a centric person instead of a careless person . then i realized , i have some kind of split-personality syndrome which is very dangerous ( for me ) . sometimes i am very serious in my studies and i want to be the best student and get straight A's . but after having a very rough week or developed a harder level in some subjects , i'll give up and start to care less about my studies . jimbet , i know .

the actual fuck is overthinking .

2312 hours .